


Triangulation

by zelda_zee



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 15:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zelda_zee/pseuds/zelda_zee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sawyer screws up, but the consequences might not be what he expects. Takes place during the Dharma era; let’s say around ’76.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Triangulation

Barbecues at the Goodspeeds are usually kind of boring. Nice enough, but cheesy – what people are calling ‘square’ back on the mainland right about now. Tonight’s been no exception, and Juliet had the good sense to leave an hour ago. Sawyer wouldn’t have stayed so late, only Horace brought out a bottle of Dharma rum and started mixing mango daiquiris and the next thing Sawyer knew he’d been sent down to the basement with Miles to hunt for more glasses and somehow or other his cock had found its way into Miles’ mouth.

This isn’t, he reflects, as Miles does something wicked with his tongue that makes Sawyer grunt through gritted teeth, the way these kinds of evenings usually go. In fact, this isn’t the way they _ever_ go. It’s the daiquiris, it’s gotta be.

He remembers saying, “We shouldn’t, we can’t,” and Miles smirking and grabbing Sawyer’s cock through the denim of his jeans and saying, “Yeah, right,” as he reached for the zipper.

Sawyer’s jeans are around his thighs now, his boxers too, and he doesn’t have any memory of when that happened. Miles’ hands are splayed out over his hipbones, pinning him to the wall – he remembers his surprise at the strength with which he was shoved back against it. Miles is on his knees – on his fucking _knees_ – and his mouth, oh Christ, that little fucker’s got a mouth on him. Sawyer stares down at him in a alcoholic haze, not really believing this is happening, only... only it is. He watches Miles bob on his dick, watches it disappear, wet and shining and obscene, into Miles’ pretty, pretty mouth and he tries not to whimper.

This is bad, he thinks. _Wrong_ , and he’s going to hate himself, he’s going to fuck everything up. He’s screwing up his whole life just because Miles has a pretty mouth and a dark wit and a sly smile and because Sawyer hasn’t been with a man in so long he could cry and godammit he loves Juliet, loves her with all his heart, but this is who he is too and he can’t, no matter how much he wants to, he just can’t change that much. Tiger don’t change its stripes, ain’t that the truth?

Miles pulls back, looks up at him as if he’d sensed something. He’s frowning, little lines wrinkling his forehead and Sawyer doesn’t even think about it, he just reaches out and smooths them with his thumb.

“Want me to stop?” Miles asks, voice noncommittal, as if it really doesn’t matter to him what the answer is. Sawyer knows Miles well enough by now though to see right through him.

“Fuck, no,” he rasps and Miles goes back to it, adding a twist of his head and a long suck that has Sawyer gasping, hips tensing as he tries to control the urge to fuck into Miles’ throat. Miles is skilled and focused, obviously experienced, and maybe later Sawyer will wonder some about that – later, when Miles has stopped sucking Sawyer’s brains out through his dick. For now, all he can do is lean against the wall, shaking and panting and biting back on the noises he wants to make. He rests a hand on Miles’ head, fingers thoughtlessly twining around his silky hair, shuts his eyes and tries to make it last by not watching anymore, because the sight of Miles’ lips, slick and stretched around his cock, is more than he can bear. But Miles must decide that it’s time to end it because he sinks down, takes him all the way in and swallows again and again. Sawyer’s head slams back against the wall and he grits his teeth, an agonized whine escaping nonetheless. He shudders in sharp jerks and comes in an eruption that shakes him up and turns him upside down and inside out and nearly knocks him off his feet – would too, if Miles didn’t steady him. It leaves him weak and trembling and speechless, knees wobbly as a young colt. Miles gives his twitching cock a final lick and shifts back, remaining on his knees, head tilted down. He stays like that for a moment, silent and motionless, and Sawyer can’t find the words to ask if he’s all right.

Miles gets to his feet and it’s obvious he’s hard, but he takes a step away before Sawyer can reach for him.

“This isn’t a _thing_ , okay?” Miles says. “It doesn’t have to be a thing. This is – it’s nothing. It didn’t even happen. It just – it didn’t happen.”

And then he turns away and Sawyer is about to call out after him, but the door at the top of the stairs opens and Horace says, “Where the hell are you guys? Haven’t you found the glasses yet?” and Sawyer is scrambling to zip up and by the time he looks up again Miles is gone.

*

“I fucked up.”

It’s morning – Sunday morning – the morning after the night before. Sawyer is sitting across the kitchen table from Juliet, pushing his scrambled eggs around on his plate.

“What?” she asks, looking up distractedly from her Jacqueline Suzanne novel.

“I fucked up,” Sawyer repeats, his voice coming out gravelly, because terror seems to have paralyzed his vocal chords. “Bad. I fucked up bad, Jules.”

“Oh-kay,” she says, putting the book down. She turns those crystal clear eyes on him and it’s like being pierced by a laser, like she’s looking straight inside his head and seeing the shameful thing he needs to tell her. It makes him close his eyes, knowing that in just a minute she won’t be looking at him in that quiet, accepting way. She’ll be angry and betrayed, and then she’ll leave him.

He wishes he was still the man who would have hidden this. There had been a time when he would have had no problem smiling and lying and skimming right over the truth. Juliet had changed all that, and now he was no more capable of lying to her than he would have been of pulling off a long con. He just wasn’t that guy, not anymore.

She knows his secrets, all of them, has from the start. What she hadn’t read in his file he filled in for her. He wanted to be sure she knew exactly what she was getting, no blind spots, no nasty surprises. Juliet knows more than anyone else ever has. She knows everything about him – everything except this.

“There’s something I should’ve told you a long time ago. Only I… didn’t.”

His heart is hammering, sweat soaking into his shirt. He fidgets, takes a breath and lets it out, unable to find the words to go on.

A tiny smile quirks Juliet’s lips and she reaches a hand out on the table. He doesn’t even think about it, he just takes it, trying not to think how much it feels like a lifeline, his breath hitching when she squeezes.

“I’m listening,” she says and he can tell she’s simply waiting for him to speak, not judging or anxious.

“I’m –” he starts, feeling like his mouth is numb, like he can’t form the words. “There’s – When –”

“ _James_ ”, Juliet says, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

“Okay. Okay. Thing is, Jules, uh. I might be – sometimes – not _primarily_ , y’understand, but just _sometimes_ , you know, just once in a while…” He drops her hand, and lays his out on the table helplessly, palms up. Then he forces the words out fast, blurting and breathless. “SometimesIlikeguys.”

Her eyes widen and she blinks once, twice.

“Guys.” Her face is blank but he knows the wheels are turning. “Oh. I see. And why are you only telling me this now, James? Does it have something to do with you fucking up?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “It does.”

He tells her about Miles, words stammering and stuttering out of him, face red, eyes glued to the tabletop. His hands shake, so he puts them in his lap. He ends with _I’m so fucking sorry_ , wants to slide to his knees and beg her not to leave him and only restrains himself because he knows she wouldn’t like it.

The silence that falls after his confession is agonizing. Sawyer wonders if he should just skip to the end and take off, forestall the argument and recrimination that’s bound to follow and do what he’s always done before – disappear. Hard to disappear on an island full of monsters and Hostiles, but he could give it a try.

He makes himself sit still though, because he deserves what’s coming. He deserves it, and whatever he’s done, he’s man enough to take it.

“Was it a one-time thing with Miles?” Juliet finally asks.

He lifts his head in surprise. “What?”

“What happened with Miles – has it happened before or was it a one-time thing?”

“No! Never before. It was just once, it’ll never happen again, I swear. It was just – I don’t know, the booze, or something.” He trails off, then amends. “It was my fault. It was a mistake.”

Juliet pulls one leg up, her foot balanced on the edge of her seat, and rests her chin on her knee, regarding Sawyer thoughtfully. “Would you _want_ it to happen again?”

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Sawyer asks, a little panicky.

“A simple one. You said you like guys. If that’s the case, it seems like you’re missing out by being with me.”

“No,” He shakes his head so emphatically that his hair swishes against his face. “No. I love you. I’m not missing out on anything.”

“And yet you let Miles give you a blowjob.” Sawyer winces, but she continues, “I don’t think you’d have done that unless you’d been missing it an awful lot.”

“I –” He has no idea how to respond. “Juliet, I – I don’t. It’s not like I _need_ guys. I can live without that. I just – I fucked up.” He tries to keep his voice steady, but it breaks anyway. “What I can’t live without is you.”

“I need to think about this,” she says, getting up from the table. “I need some time, James.” And without another word she turns away, retreating to their bedroom and closing the door softly behind her.

Sawyer clears the table, does the dishes, straightens up their already tidy living room, then he goes and sits in the chair on the front porch. He takes a book with him, but he doesn’t get much reading done.

Late in the afternoon, Juliet joins him. She’s got two Dharma beers, and she hands him one. She sits on the weathered floorboards, leaning back against a post.

“So you like dick,” Juliet says flatly, looking up at him with an unnervingly direct gaze.

Sawyer feels himself blush ferociously.

“I – uh. _Jesus Christ_.”

“I understand,” Juliet goes on. “I like dick too. Dick is nice.”

“Jules!”

“Well, it is!” She smirks at him, but he really doesn’t see the humor in the situation.

“You’re not taking this seriously!”

“Not taking your love of dick seriously?”

Sawyer can only blink at her, speechless.

“Fine,” Juliet says. “We can take it seriously, James. You did fuck up. You fucked up by not telling me you’re bisexual, and you fucked up with Miles last night. But it’s not the end of everything. We can work through this.”

“We can?” he asks. He feels light-headed with relief at the thought that maybe he hasn’t lost her. He gets another chance and surely that’s not right. God knows he used up his second chances years ago, but he’s not going to question it.

“Yes,” she says and she sounds so sure that Sawyer can only marvel. “We can.”

They go inside, sit in the living room and talk. They talk for a long time. Sawyer hates it, but he does it for her. He’ll do anything not to lose her. The first hour of explanations is awful, but then it’s suddenly not so bad and then Juliet is smiling and he cracks a joke and Juliet’s giggling and he finds himself believing that maybe they’ll be okay.

Still, he’s taken aback when, later that night, as she’s riding him with long, deep thrusts, driving him crazy with the slow, teasing pace, she leans down and whispers in his ear, “Tell me what you’d do if Miles was here right now.”

He freezes, breath stuttering out, eyes wide. Juliet doesn’t miss a beat, just snakes a hand down between them to rub at her clit.

“Would you let him suck your cock again?” she asks.

“What’re you –? You shouldn’t –” Sawyer stammers.

“Shhh.” Sawyer squirms as her soft breath blows against the shell of his ear. “Don’t say anything.” She nips his ear lobe. Sawyer swallows and closes his eyes and wonders where the hell this is going. Juliet’s plenty adventurous in bed, but this is pushing the limits, even for her.

“I’d like to watch,” she continues and Sawyer squeezes his eyes shut, as a jolt of intensified arousal shocks through him. “He’s got that _mouth_ , you know?” He hears her chuckle, low and husky. “Well, I guess you do know. I’d like to see what he’d do with your cock.” Sawyer whimpers because he can picture it, only now he sees Juliet there too, watching, maybe reaching out a hand to touch. Something coils in his gut at the thought, heat and tension gathering, thrumming along his nerves, and his hips push up and Juliet sighs a gusty moan into his ear.

“Or maybe,” she says. “Maybe you’d like to suck _his_ cock.” She leans up on one hand so that she can see his face. “Would you like that, James?”

Sawyer can’t think how to answer, but then he remembers, she told him not to talk and he’s grateful that he’s spared trying to find the right words. He can’t decide if he’s more freaked out or turned on by what Juliet is saying. He doesn’t know if he really wants her to see that side of him. Telling her about it, that’s hard enough, but for her to really know, to see it right in front of her eyes makes Sawyer just as nervous as he was before he spilled the beans this morning.

She’s still moving on him, still taking it slow. Her hair hangs forward around her face, her breasts sway with the rhythm. She’s so beautiful and it kills him a little, because this should be enough, should be more than enough – and a part of him hates that it isn’t.

She’s not letting him dwell on it though, leaning down to kiss him, pushing her tongue between his lips. He moans a little, kisses her back, curling up off the bed, hands careless in her hair. One moves to the small of her back, fingertips pressing into the ridges of the brand there, urging her to move faster and she does and it’s so sweet that his head falls back against the pillow, eyes squeezing shut, his heels digging into the mattress as he pushes up into her.

She sits back a bit, groaning at the new angle, shaking her hair out of her face. Their eyes meet and she smiles. “You could – suck him – and I could ride you – like this,” she gasps.

“Fuck,” he breathes, as heat surges through him at the thought. “God, Jules.”

“Shhhh.” She rubs a thumb sloppily over his mouth, nudging at his lips. Her eyes glitter as she stares, flush darkening on her face. “Show me,” she demands. “Show me how you suck a cock.”

She pushes her thumb in and for a moment Sawyer can’t do anything but stare up at her, disbelieving. She draws it out, pushes it slowly back in and he shudders, his eyes falling closed before he catches himself and opens them again. He can’t believe she wants him to do this, can’t believe some part of him wants to do it – is _dying_ to do it. He licks tentatively at the pad of her thumb and she hums in approval, so he flicks his tongue again and again. Her thumb is small, much smaller than a cock and nothing like it, but sucking it turns him on just the same.

“That’s right,” she murmurs. “Lots of tongue. Make it wet.” And oh, fuck. She’s fucking fearless, he realizes, fearless and relentless and she knows him too well, can dig right into his head and find that stuff that’s going to turn his crank. He moans, licking frantically, trying to follow when she pulls her thumb out, but then she pushes two fingers back in and that’s good, it gives him more to suck on.

She’s speeding up, short, hard jerks of her pelvis that grind her clit against his pubic bone and make her tits bounce. Normally he’d reach for them, but he’s got his hands wrapped around sweaty handfuls of sheet and he can’t let go or he’s sure he’s just going to fly to pieces. He’s going to fly to pieces anyway, he thinks, feeling the slow, inward drag of his orgasm approaching. He gasps around Juliet’s fingers, looks up at her, meets her eyes and they’re dark and wild and unflinching.

“Suck it,” she says, words breathless but forceful. “Suck that cock.”

Sawyer makes a noise, something loud and helpless and shocked-sounding. He sucks hard, fucks up hard and somehow his hands are on her hips and he’s pulling her down again and again and he’s going to come, he’s going to come so hard, the energy coiled and pulsing inside him, raging to explode. He’s gasping and her fingers slip out of his mouth and he feels them wet on his throat for a second before his head slams back and his back bows and he’s overcome with bursts of glorious, white heat that burn through him, emptying his mind and filling his body with undiluted pleasure, moving through him in agonizingly blissful contractions that leave him wasted and weak.

He hears Juliet groan, pries his eyes open to watch her come, so beautiful, his Juliet, his girl, who knows every inch of him, inside and out and loves him anyway.

She collapses down on top of him, panting hard, her forehead pressed to his collarbone. He pets over her hair, runs his fingers down her spine. His cock slides slowly out of her as they lay there and she sighs, shifts over to the side and reaches for her glass of water on the bedside table.

Sawyer looks over at her. “Well,” he says and stops. He doesn’t have anything else.

She smiles and brushes a lock of hair back out of his eyes.

“I love you, you know,” Juliet says.

Sawyer sighs. “Love you too.”

“Are you freaking out?” She shifts onto her side and Sawyer rolls over onto his, facing away from her, a routine that’s become thoughtless with repetition.

“Nah,” he says. She moves in close, warmth all along his back, her arm slipping around his waist. When they lay like this it’s the safest he’s ever felt. “Maybe.”

“It’ll be okay,” she whispers and kisses the back of his neck. “Really.” And he believes her.

  
Miles is standing in the middle of their living room, looking at the two of them like they’ve lost their minds.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

“No, Miles,” Juliet says. “We’re quite serious.” She looks cool and composed, sitting on the couch with one leg tucked under her, wearing white pedal-pushers and a blue blouse, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. She certainly doesn’t look like the kind of woman who just proposed a threesome to a colleague and, Sawyer supposes, friend. (To be honest, he isn’t quite sure what Miles is, whether he’s a friend or something more complicated.)

“Help me out here, Boss,” Miles turns to Sawyer with a weak smile.

Sawyer clears his throat awkwardly. He’d hoped to be able to let Juliet do the talking, since she seems to have an easier time of it, but it looks like he isn’t going to be able to get away with that.

“We talked about it, me and Juliet,” he says. “And, yeah. We thought we’d ask.” He smiles, trying to appear casual. “No harm in askin’, right?”

When Miles doesn’t answer, Juliet interjects. “If you’re not into women, I could just watch. I’d be okay with that.”

Miles eyes widen comically and he stares at her as if she’s just grown another head. “I – I like women just fine,” he says finally.

“Well.” Juliet smiles. “It’s my lucky day.”

“Oh-kay,” says Miles, and just stands there looking like he's still waiting for the punchline.

“Look, it’s up to you,” Sawyer says. “If you’re in, come back tonight. If not,” he shrugs, “we’ll forget all about it. Never mention it again.”

“I’ll show you out,” Juliet says, uncoiling from where she’s seated. She puts her hand on the small of Miles’ back and steers him gently toward the door. Sawyer watches, wondering if it’s weird that he finds that a little hot, Juliet touching Miles, just her hand against the heavy beige fabric of his jumpsuit.

Juliet doesn’t come back right away. Sawyer can hear her out on the porch, speaking for what seems like a long time, and then Miles, just a word or two, too low to make out what he’s saying.

“What were you guys talking about?” Sawyer asks, when Juliet comes back in.

“I just wanted to be sure he knows I’m okay with this,” Juliet says. “Because I am. You know that, right James?”

He takes her hand, twines their fingers together. “Since that’s what you say, I believe you.”

“I want you to be happy.”

He pulls her toward him. “I _am_ happy. I’ve never been as happy as I’ve been with you.”

“I know,” she smiles at him, eyes soft. “But there’s nothing wrong with trying for more, is there?”

*

It’s nine o’clock and they’re in Sawyer’s and Juliet’s bedroom. All three of them.

Miles glances back and forth between them. “So,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “What’s the plan?”

“There is no plan, Miles.”

“We’re kinda makin’ it up as we go,” Sawyer explains.

“You mean you don’t know what the hell you’re doing,” Miles states.

“Not really,” Juliet admits. She narrows her eyes. “Do you?”

Miles smirks, corner of his lip lifting, and Sawyer focuses on it, can’t really follow the conversation because he wants to put his mouth there so badly.

“Well, if you’re asking about threeways, yeah, I know what I’m doing. If you’re asking about what I’m doing here with the two of you, then no, I have no idea.”

“You’ve done this before,” Sawyer says.

Miles shrugs. “It’s been a while. But it’s probably a lot like riding a bicycle.” His eyes meet Juliet’s, then move to Sawyer’s, linger there a while, considering. “So, how do you want me?” The question is directed at Sawyer, as if Miles knows just what effect it’ll have on him.

And indeed, it does. Sawyer’s mouth goes dry and sweat breaks out all over his body. “On – on the bed,” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t give him away.

“Naked?” Miles asks. Sawyer has the distinctive feeling that Miles teasing him.

“Yeah,” Sawyer says, but it comes out almost a croak.

“If Miles is naked, we should be too,” says Juliet. She gives Sawyer an innocent look when he eyes her doubtfully. “It’s only fair.” Personally, Sawyer would have no problem with Miles being the only one naked, but then in his past dealings with men the issue of _fairness_ had never really come up.

But Sawyer is fine playing by Juliet’s rules, or by Miles’ rules, if it gets him what he wants, which is for this to work. It’s too big of a risk to have it fall flat, especially given their proscribed little lives here in Dharmaville. The potential for future awkwardness alone is a damned powerful motivator.

So Sawyer doesn’t let himself think about it, just strips off his shirt and drops his trousers, shakes out his hair and climbs onto the bed. Miles is already naked, seated in the middle of the bed and watching Sawyer carefully, as if at any instant he expects to be told this is all some kind of joke and he should put his clothes back on and scram. Sawyer’s eyes dart around the room, landing on anything other than the man in front of him. He catches glimpses of bare, brown skin and dark hair, sees enough to know Miles isn’t hard and feels a little stab of embarrassment at already being partway there himself.

“Kiss him,” Juliet says impatiently. Sawyer looks over at her and she raises her eyebrows at him. She’s still mostly dressed, evidently planning on letting him and Miles get the party started on their own. The realization causes Sawyer’s stomach do a slow flip – nerves and excitement making him so tense he’s almost vibrating with it.

“She always this bossy in bed?” Miles asks. He reaches out and lets his fingertips brush across Sawyer’s chest and Sawyer inhales, feels his nipples tighten.

“Pretty much, yeah,” Sawyer admits, proud that he keeps his voice steady.

“Well then,” Miles says. “We’d better do what the lady says.” Miles gets up to his knees, but he still has to pull Sawyer down to him. There’s no hesitation in the hand behind his neck, or in the strong pressure that brings them together or in the way that Miles opens his lips at once and slides his tongue right into Sawyer’s mouth.

Sawyer makes a noise, a punched-in-the-gut sound and his hands go to Miles’ waist, rest there uncertainly for a moment. He’s not sure what to do with them, conscious of his body in a way that feels foreign to him, too aware of the strangeness of being with a man again, and in his own bed, and Juliet right there, watching every move he makes. Miles huffs against his lips as if sensing his distraction, squeezes firmly with the hand at the back of Sawyer’s neck in a way that says _pay attention_ , then punctuates the message by bringing his hand between Sawyer’s legs and gently cupping his half-hard cock.

That gets Sawyer’s attention, all right. He groans, sliding his hands around Miles' back, then down. Skin as smooth as Juliet’s, but the shape’s all wrong. No, not wrong – _different_. He cups Miles’ tight little ass and Sawyer’s cock hardens as he squeezes, fingertips barely brushing into Miles' crack. Miles’ mouth opens wider, and Sawyer kisses him deeper, tongues twisting against each other. Sawyer gasps as Miles’ hand wraps around his cock, strokes him in long, slow pulls. One of Sawyer’s hands goes to the back of Miles’ head, holds him there as he kisses him; that pretty mouth open and panting and Sawyer just wants to make it wet and red and swollen like it was after Miles had it around Sawyer’s dick.

He pushes Miles down, leans over him, breathing hard. Miles look up at him, raises an eyebrow in not-so-subtle challenge. His legs fall open easily, inviting, and Sawyer shudders, reminding himself what they’d all agreed – no fucking on this, their trial run. But Jesus, at this moment, with Miles spread out beneath him and looking up at him with that challenge his eye, it’s all Sawyer can think about.

The bed dips behind him and he looks back to see that Juliet has joined them. She’s naked now and her skin is flushed, her eyes shining. Sawyer starts, guiltily realizing that for just a minute he’d forgotten she was there, but she puts a hand on his hip, keeping him where he is.

“It’s okay,” she says. “Don’t stop.”

But Sawyer sits back onto his heels between Miles legs. Juliet crawls forward, her hand sliding up Sawyer’s spine until she grips his shoulder and pulls him toward her. The kiss is wet and hungry and Sawyer moans into it when he feels a hand around his cock, thumb swiping back and forth across the head until it’s too much and he can't help thrusting. The hand jacks him steadily, good but too slow, too light, until he moves back from Juliet, breathing raggedly.

“He likes it faster than that,” Juliet says. “And tighter.” Sawyer opens his eyes to see Juliet watching them, her eyes fastened on the sight of Miles’ hand on his dick.

“You should show me,” Miles says, releasing Sawyer, who barely succeeds in suppressing a protest.

Juliet takes Miles’ hand and brings it back to Sawyer’s cock, wraps his fingers tightly around it, then her own around Miles’. Sawyer looks down, watches them stroke him, dark skin and pale, masculine and feminine, new and familiar. He struggles for breath, tries to keep his cool, but he’s losing it. Juliet’s pushing the pace faster, rougher, just the way he likes it and it’s too damn good, too damn hot, too damn dirty for him to keep it together. Heat flows through him in waves and he can’t stay quiet anymore, has to gasp when Juliet adds that little twist that always brings him to his knees – except he’s already on his knees so he just curls forward, shaking.

“Like that,” Juliet says to Miles. “See?” She does it again and Sawyer bites out, “Fuck,” as tension spreads up his thighs, drags sweetly across his hips.

“Yeah, I see,” Miles says. He sounds a little short of breath, maybe a little hoarse, but like he’s holding it together pretty well, and Juliet’s still far too composed. It’s only Sawyer who's heading toward the edge – they’re taking him apart, between the two of them, and it’s not that it’s not good – not that he doesn’t want it – he just doesn’t want to be the first to go, some stupid kind of pride telling him that he shouldn’t give in before they do – or at least before Miles does.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing Juliet’s wrist. “Wait. Just… not yet, okay?”

She stops, meets Sawyer’s eyes and nods. “Okay.” She draws her hand away, but not before she swipes her fingers over the wetness at the tip of his cock. Sawyer and Miles both groan as she licks it off with a devilish look in her eye. “Your turn then,” she says to Miles. “What do you want?”

Miles looks genuinely surprised. “What do _I_ want?”

“Yes, Miles,” Juliet says. “What do you want?”

“I didn’t know I’d get to call the shots,” Miles says gruffly, leaning up on his elbows.

“You’re a part of this,” Juliet says, frowning slightly. “You have as much say as either of us do about what happens.”

“I guess I figured you two were just in the market for a fucktoy,” Miles says, lip quirking in a cynical smile.

Juliet’s eyes widen and she looks at Sawyer. He sits back, scowling down at Miles, wondering why he would say a thing like that. Sawyer’s betting there’s a story behind it, and not a pretty one, but he lets it go. He’s not sure there’ll ever come a time when Miles would be likely to explain himself, but he does know that this isn’t it.

“Well, you thought wrong, then, genius. We’ve already got a Dharma dildo and a Dharma vibrator – we’re doin’ just fine when it comes to fucktoys, thank you very much.”

“What we wanted, Miles –” Juliet begins, but Miles holds up a hand and she falls silent.

“Let _him_ tell me,” Miles says, then nods at Sawyer. “ _You_ tell me why I’m here.”

Sawyer winces, because he is not equipped for this, especially not when he was well on his way to an orgasm just a minute ago. “What part of ‘we’re makin’ it up as we go along’ didn’t you understand?” he sighs. He gives Miles his most charming smile. “Just do,” he manages. “Ain’t that enough?”

“Look,” Sawyer continues, when Miles doesn’t answer, “after what happened at the party it just seemed like maybe you’d be open to tryin’ something kind of… unconventional. Aw hell, Miles, do we really have to do this now? You’re here, right? If you’ve changed your mind about it, just go.”

“I haven’t changed my mind,” Miles says. “I just wanna know what’s expected. What _you_ want, Jim, because unless I’m mistaken, this is mostly about what you want.”

Sawyer looks at Juliet and then back at Miles. “I just want us to all get off and have a good time.” He shrugs. “It’s as simple as that.”

“Is it?” Miles sits up, looking right into Sawyer’s eyes. “You still haven’t said what _you_ want,” she murmurs, kissing Miles’ neck.

“I want his mouth around my dick.” Miles is staring at Sawyer, that same challenge in his eye from earlier but there’s uncertainty beneath it, as if he’s sure that there’s no way Sawyer is going to acquiesce.

Sawyer licks his lips. “Yeah,” he says. “I could do that.”

Miles’ eyes widen slightly, the only hint that he’s surprised by Sawyer’s answer. Sawyer smirks and shuffles backwards between Miles’ legs. If Miles was a girl he’d make it pretty, drop a line of licks and kisses all the way down her body, but Miles is very obviously a guy and Sawyer doesn’t bother with any of that. There may come a time, but not now. Now, there’s one thing he wants, something he’s wanted for a long time and that’s a cock in his mouth. He didn’t know he’d be wanting Miles’ cock in particular, hadn’t really given Miles more than the occasional appreciative look prior to the other night. But now that he’s allowed to want this, now that Miles’ is here, spread out on Sawyer’s bed, his body smooth and warm and glowing in the dim light, his cock hard and waiting, Sawyer admits he does want just this, wants it something fierce.

He mouths over Miles’ shaft, gratified at the way it makes his fists clench in the sheets and his stomach muscles quiver, then licks along the crease of his thigh, inside where there’s no hair. There’s hardly any hair anywhere on Miles’ body, just under his arms and a patch of it, soft and straight and black, at his crotch. He likes it, Sawyer decides, as he noses at the fine strands. It makes Miles look younger than he is, and maybe Sawyer shouldn’t find that hot, but he’s a ways past _shouldn’ts_ in this scenario.

He licks over the head of Miles’ cock, sucks lightly as he takes him in, tongue working the underside. He can hear Juliet’s voice in his head -- _Lots of tongue. Make it wet._ \-- and it makes him moan, makes his mouth water. He takes Miles in as deeply as he can – not all the way – it’s been a long time and Sawyer’s out of practice. It’s good though, to pick up that rhythm again, to remember the feel of it, the weight against his tongue, the ache in his jaw. There’s that musky smell that seems to be similar on all guys, but always individual too. Miles smells clean, like he just showered, the familiar scent of Dharma soap rising from his skin.

There’s a hand in his hair, holding it out of his face and he knows without having to look that it’s Juliet and that makes him grind his hips helplessly against the bedding, the mattress too soft to give him the friction he wants. He keeps his eyes closed, preferring the darkness to seeing whatever expression is on Juliet's face as she watches him suck Miles’ cock.

“Look at him.” Juliet’s voice is low and husky, the words bumping into each other. Sawyer knows that voice. It’s how she sounds when she’s intensely aroused. “He _likes_ it.”

Miles groans, the first time Sawyer’s heard him sound like he’s not in control since this started. It sends a shiver over his skin, one that’s repeated when he hears Juliet ask, in a quiet, intimate tone, “Do you like it, Miles?”

Sawyer doesn’t hear Miles’ reply, if he makes one at all. There’s just the slick, wet sound of his mouth on Miles’ dick over the bass line of Sawyer’s heartbeat. He goes a little deeper, trying to take more of it, trying to take it all. Miles writhes, gasping, “ _Ah, ah_ ,” his hips jerking and Sawyer has to pull back until he gets his gag reflex back under control.

He dares to glance up then, and freezes, staring. He’s not sure what he’d expected to find, but he’s pretty sure it wasn’t the sight of Miles and Juliet in an open-mouthed lip lock and Juliet with her leg bent up, Miles’ fingers buried in her pussy. He can see Miles’ finger slide between her folds, see how they’re shiny and slick. Miles’ thumb makes slow, careful rotations over the deep pink nub of her clit and she arches, moaning, raising her leg higher to give him more access.

It’s… amazing. Sawyer’s not sure _what_ he should feel, watching this. Maybe it’s weird that he finds it unbelievably hot, but if it is, he doesn’t give a damn. He wants to put this mouth there, right over Miles’ thumb, suck and lick at her sweetness, feel what Miles is doing to her. Instead he slides two fingers inside her, his hand bumping against Miles’ and if he needed reassurance that she was into this, feeling how wet she is would be enough. Juliet gasps, clenching around his fingers, her upraised leg bumping him in the head before her foot settles on his shoulder.

“Oh God,” Juliet gasps. “ _God_ , James, oh my _God_.” He feels her starting to go, little spasms, increased heat and slickness. He rotates his hand, slides his thumb back along her crack to press and rub. She bears down, working herself on his fingers, opening around his thumb, hips moving fast, faster until she freezes, her legs trembling, crying out loud and sharp. He tears his eyes away from the sight of her pussy, all pink and open, to the taut stretch of her stomach, the swell of her breasts, sharp points of her nipples standing in silhouette, her hair everywhere, her face pressed to Miles’ chest.

She’s gasping, tension releasing by degrees, relaxing against Miles, and Sawyer blinks, feels like he’s coming out of a trance. He looks down to see that Miles is still quite hard - in fact, if anything he looks even more aroused than before, so Sawyer figures he wasn’t just being polite when he told Juliet he liked girls. Sawyer feels painfully hard himself, and he grinds down against the mattress in an effort to ease the ache a bit.

Juliet’s making contented little humming noises, limbs splayed out on the bed, seemingly lost in her own blissed-out world. Miles leans up on one elbow to look down the length of his body, eyes locking with Sawyer’s. Sawyer licks up the length of Miles’ shaft and takes him in his mouth again with a hungry, growling noise. He holds Miles in place, hands probably too hard over his hipbones. Miles shudders and whispers, “Oh fuck, Jesus, Jim, oh shit, where’d you learn, Jesus you, _fuck_.” Sawyer just closes his eyes and gets down to business, grinding against the mattress again and again and concentrating on giving Miles a blowjob he’ll never forget.

There’s a hand on the back of Sawyer’s head, and he doesn’t know which of them it is and he doesn’t care, he just lets it push him down until Miles cock nudges into his throat. Sawyer hears Miles moan, feels him tense, hips rising up off the bed. Miles’ cock swells and jerks in Sawyer's mouth, a spurt of warmth and bitterness against his tongue, hands roughly tugging at his hair, making his skin tingle and suddenly Sawyer can’t wait any longer, he just can’t.

It feels like he’s been needing to come forever and the sensation when he takes hold of himself makes him gasp. He rolls to the side so he has some room, presses his face into Miles' belly and strokes and it only takes a few before he’s groaning against Miles’ hip and coming so hard he sees stars, fucking his own hand and shooting his load onto the sheets.

He’d probably collapse then, or maybe just pass out, but Juliet’s hand is under his chin, lifting his face and God knows what she sees. His hair’s in his eyes and he’s sweaty and gross and there’s come and saliva smeared around his mouth and down his chin and his lips feel swollen and sore when she kisses him. It’s a firm, passionate kiss, full of certitude and acceptance, and he’s not sure, but he thinks maybe he’s never loved her as much as he does in this moment, with Miles laying spent beneath him, the taste of his come still in Sawyer’s mouth.

~*~

It’s some time later and they’re still in bed, just finishing up a joint of Hurley’s finest, some new strain he and Miles have been developing in their secret non-Dharma-sanctioned farm project out in the jungle. As Chief of Security, Sawyer should put a stop to it, except he’s not sure he could cope all that well with life in Dharmaville without a steady supply of botanical mood enhancer. So maybe he’s not as reformed as he likes people to believe – changing of stripes, and all that.

“You know”, Miles says, “I’d have been okay with it if all you guys wanted was a fucktoy.”

Juliet gives an annoyed groan and slaps Miles weakly on the chest. “Shut _up_ , Miles.”

“I’m just saying.” He sort of shrugs, though it’s a lopsided one in his current position, laying on his side, with his head propped on his hand. “It wouldn’t be the first time. I wouldn’t have minded.”

Sawyer doesn’t say anything, just wraps an arm around Miles’ waist and draws him back against his chest and he’s too mellow to give a damn if he’s spooning with a guy or if Miles stiffens at the closeness. “Ain’t nobody bein’ nobody’s fucktoy around here,” he mumbles low into Miles’ ear, gives him a squeeze around the middle for emphasis. “You got it?”

“Yeah, okay Jim, I got it,” Miles grumbles, squirming in Sawyer’s grasp in such a way that, stoned and tired as he is, Sawyer still can’t help thinking that what he’d really like is for both of them to hold Miles down together and make him squirm a whole lot more.

“Next time,” he mumbles sleepily.

“Next time what?” Miles asks, twisting around to eye Sawyer suspiciously, but Sawyer just smiles and closes his eyes.

~*~

In the morning Miles is gone and everything seems completely normal – he and Juliet have slow, lazy morning sex, then Sawyer sits on the couch with his novel while Juliet burns their breakfast. It’s their day off, which they spend, as usual, indoors for much of the day, just the two of them. Going outside means encountering a bunch of people they see all the time, so the only real break is to keep to themselves.

In the late afternoon though, they take their books and their beers out to the porch.

“There he is,” Juliet says, pointing with her beer can. Miles is coming down the walkway, hands in the pockets of his jumpsuit, studiously not looking in their direction. He’ll have to walk right past them though, to get to the house he shares with Jin.

Sawyer checks his watch. “Just got done with his shift,” he says. He clears his throat. “Do you want to ask, or should I?”

Juliet gives him a knowing smile. “You ask. It’ll mean more, coming from you.”

“Hey, Miles,” he calls, when Miles is close enough that he doesn’t have to shout. Miles looks up, a wary, closed-off expression on his face and Sawyer motions him over. He wonders, not for the first time, what it was that happened in Miles past that makes him always so quick to go on the defensive.

“It’s funny,” Juliet says, leaning close so she won’t be overheard, “but sometimes he reminds me so much of you.”

Sawyer grunts noncommittally, can’t say anything more because Miles is right in front of them. “Got the substation B camera fixed, Boss,” Miles says. “Phil says the video feed’s up and running again.”

For a second Sawyer is nonplussed, because the video feed from substation B was the last thing on his mind, but then he recovers enough to offer a word of approval. There’s a moment of silence and Juliet kicks him in the ankle. “Um. How about dinner tonight?” he asks, face heating slightly as Miles shoots him a look that he can’t read. “I’m grillin’ steaks,” he offers, then when Miles doesn’t reply right away, “No expectations – just dinner.”

“And then we’ll see,” Juliet adds, and the smile she turns on Miles is so sweet and inviting that Sawyer honestly doesn’t see how it’d be possible to say no to that.

And, indeed, apparently Miles can’t. “Sure,” he says nonchalantly, but Sawyer catches the wobble of his Adam’s apple when he swallows. “Can I bring anything?”

“Ohh,” Juliet says and it’s almost a purr. “Just yourself. Just bring yourself, Miles. We’ll supply the rest.”

Sawyer chuckles and for an instant Miles lips curve into one of his rare smiles, defenses forgotten. “I’ll see you later, then,” he says, turning to go.

“Six o’clock,” Sawyer calls after him. “Don’t be late!”

“Well.” Juliet turns to him. “I guess we’re committed now.”

“I guess so,” Sawyer says, grinning. “Or maybe we _ought_ to be committed.”

He can already feel anticipation for the evening to come gathering low in his belly. He's sure his heart’s beating too fast and takes a measured, steady breath to slow it down. “You’re really good with this, Blondie?” he asks, because he needs to be sure. He’ll never stop needing to be sure.

“I really am,” she assures him. She holds her hand out and he takes it, their fingers intertwining. She squeezes and he squeezes back and she smiles at him, a smile that’s just his, that holds all their joys and their secrets and the things about them that no one else could understand.

“We should get ready.” Juliet gets to her feet, still holding his hand. “We’ve got a big night ahead of us.” She tugs him toward the door, not letting go.

“ _Another_ big night,” Sawyer drawls happily, letting her pull him along.

“Yep, another big night.” She stops and rises up on her toes for a quick kiss. “Aren’t you just a lucky guy?” She taps the end of his nose with a forefinger, then disappears into the house, screen door banging behind her.

“Ain’t I just?” Sawyer murmurs, and follows her inside.


End file.
